melodious

Something You Should Know

2011-02-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

I think i somehow feels good about what is happening around me right now. Jumping ship from sph to moe is like a wake up call for me. Kept telling myself that i've just got to be patience and see different thing from different angle. Kind of miss my previous colleagues thou. But its nice to know that we are getting closer and still keeping in touch. All thanks whatsapp and fb. hah!

Anyways i'm seriously losing touch with blog. I don't know what i can update and most prolly because i don't have anymore time to sit and muse.

Currently listening to Secrets by One Republic.

My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

What can i say about confessions. It hurts sometiimes but thats just something everyone have to deal with it. So i'm kind of okey. Its just that it might probably takes awhile for me to get use to it.

Oh wells i think i'm going to take nap. Meeting Filza and Fazi for dinner at Simpang later.

Tell me im not mistaken

2010-12-11T08:58:00.002+08:00

So what do i do with the broken pieces? Sometimes the things you want doesn't go your own way. I'm tired of giving but end up not receiving any.

Anyways enough of the emo-ing. Tied up moments are over. Gotta get ready for work, take the new specs and meet Filza for lunch. Afternoon shift. yey! I can see myself chatting and munching all the way till 6.

In any way, Thank you Allah for answering my prayer. For giving me guidance in times when i need an assurance. I'm not sad. But i guess i'm so much more disappointed. Not with anyone but with myself.

Hold Me

2010-11-17T19:34:00.004+08:00

Dear Love,

For so long in my life,

I wouldn't let love inside

But I swallowed my pride the day you arrived

And now that you're by my side

Everything is all right.

Thank you for waking me up from what i'm always afraid off. Thank you for being patience with me though i can be annoying at times. Thank you for all the love and faith. I hope it stays this way always.

Yours Truly.

Crushed

2010-10-28T22:04:00.001+08:00

Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears.
Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage.
Dear Brain, you were right

Kau Cintaku

2010-10-24T22:42:00.001+08:00

What if I don't want to be saved? This is me afraid.

My life have officially revolve around work and school. Yes. Robot is my last name. Seriously.. I really need a time to enjoy my life, do the things i love and hang out with the people i miss.

Glad to meet the rest during grad day at Ritz Carlton last week. Was happy to see all of them. But most importantly to have my family around. Thank you mak, ayah, luqman and abg edy. I wish kakak and him was there.

4 more weeks to final project. Can't wait for Nafa classes to end. Im seriously sick of Bugis. Oh 1 more week to pay day. 2 more weeks to Rekha's birthday. 3 more weeks to Luqman's birthday & Adiladha. Can't wait!

Oh well, i think i better charge my iphone and hit the sack now. Hopefully it will be a magnanimous monday. :))

Take me there

2010-09-28T09:39:00.002+08:00

I'm seating in the office trying to do the remaining work because today will be my last day here. Will be starting my work at SPH as of Friday, 1oct. Alhamdulillah. Wanted to take 2 days break before i start on my new job. I bet it will be a dead heavy load job.

Syawal this year was rather boring. I don't know. Its either i was too tired to bother or perhaps i was just being ignorant. For the very first time, i bought only one baju kurung. Wonder what happen next year Eid'.

When we were still young, we just can't wait to get out from school and earn money. We always thought that schooling is so much stressful than working life. But i guess after working and studying at the same time, I felt like i don't even have time for myself. Even Fatwa complains that i do not have time for him. Well i guess thats how different our/my mindset was. Now i really miss school. Having the luxury to focus on one thing at a time.

Talking about school, i will be having SG graduation this Oct 16 at Ritz Carlton. Can't wait to meet the rest and i will make sure my parents cry that day. huhu

I hope this won't be my last entry for the year 2010. heh!

My melody

2010-09-02T15:29:00.000+08:00

23 Ramadan 1431

Wow..Time really flies when you're caught up with so many things. I miss having the luxury to blog whenever i feel like sharing something that i can't voice it to someone. However, life are always full of secrets and only Allah knows. This get me reminded of the problems i am facing everyday and sometimes it remained unsolved for a very long time. But im sure it is a blessing in disguise. Everytime i face any difficulties in life i seek Allah. It makes me remember Allah all the time.

This year Ramadan really taught me to be patience. As patience as i was and will always be. Im not looking forward for Eid because i'm going to miss Ramadan when it ends.

On the other hand, i hope Allah will give his guidance and clear my doubts. InsyaAllah. Howbeit, thank you Allah for opening my eyes to see how beautiful love is.

Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way

If i were in your shoes

2010-08-15T16:40:00.002+08:00

5 Ramadan 1431

Alhamdulillah. So far I've been breaking fast with my family like always except for the day i've school. I've tons of papers to mark and teaching during fasting is not helping at all.

Found out this morning that Charlene Perry passed away on the 08 August at the age of 68. She is such a nice lady with a warm smile. The times when we actually sent emails, i didnt know that she is an old lady till we met at OCU. RIP in Charlene Perry. You will be missed.

*//Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Close to Distance

2010-08-11T04:02:00.000+08:00

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Alhamdulillah. I've got the chance to welcome Ramadhan and fast again this year. It is 320 am right now. And we will be having the first pre-dawn meal later at 430. Rekha told me about the past entries and i actually went back home and reading it since few hours ago. There were so much more about the past. I guess even if we get older each year we will still remember bits and pieces of it.

Well on the other hand, i hope i've made the right decision. ;)

Juncture

2010-08-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

If i were given options i will be the happiest person on earth.

Surprisingly the more i try to weigh something on its good and bad, the more i feels so stress. It like I couldn't find the answer to it. Well of cause at the end of the day, the only thing that i could do is to feel more confuse and lost.

That's just so me because when i make decision i can't help it but to think of the people around me. If scarifice is the word, then i probably won thousands of noble prize.

Life, as we all know. is a great mystery everrin its biological aspects; how mysterious it is in its spiritual and moral aspects, we cannot imagine.

So the only thing that i can do is to pray and keep praying. Istikharah.

♥ as it is

2010-07-16T12:37:00.005+08:00

It feels so easy to hate rather than to love a person. And it happen to be that all the good things are difficult to achieve while the bad things are easily to get.

Hating is such a strong word. When we hate someone we find ourself hurting. So most of the time i convert the word hate to dislike. But one thing for sure, i hate to hate a person. I don't want to be a hater. I wish im able to love everyone around me and hoping that i get the same thing in return. But that's another story of reality.

It's hard to pleased everyone and it's hard not to feel hurt. We are human and human tend to feel hurt even by slightest things, words and expression. Well, i am one of them. I used to be sort of over sensitive. I get hurt but often leave it as what it is. But as i get older, i began to realize that i should stop being naive and fight for what i think i deserve. And thats when the real world comes. Wiser? I hope so.

Today, I am tweety-three years old. I wish that Allah will give me another opportunity, another year to live and love. Amin.

Plus One

2010-07-15T00:16:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for giving me a chance to live a year longer.

Crazy world spins

2010-07-07T19:26:00.005+08:00

Dear F,

Well sometimes its hard to explain your true self because at times we don't even know our self. I need time. Half of my heart takes time to recover.

Everyone knows how careful i am. How afraid i am to make mistakes. Although i know that mistakes are inevitable. I want someone who can accept me flaws and all. But most importantly someone who understand my principle.

I've so many things to tell you about myself. But i don't know where to begin. So i hope that you will slowly know the real me.

Thank you for putting aside your ego and telling me the truth. I least i know where i stand in your life. Yes. The bride of your life.

♥ Ilah

I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along

Deep Skies

2010-06-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulilah. Thank you Allah. I've been waiting for this day to come for months and finally it's here. I've a mix feelings and i hope everything goes well.

Sometimes i get worried for nothing. Sometimes i just think too much. But for now, i just hope i can take my mind off certain things and keep myself busy.

Dear you,

You brought the sunshine in
Turned the dark to day
You made the shadows flee away

You opened up my eyes
To a new and living way
The dawning of a brand new day

Honestly

2010-06-24T15:43:00.006+08:00

I miss Oklahoma. I really do. Was browsing through my Day Five pictures and found the picture above.

I've just stop believing that I will be fine after the battlefield. But somehow i get so afraid and i don't know if i should carry on. I am not having doubt about you, but im having doubt with myself. It feels like we are miles apart and both of us are stilll unsure. I don't want be your trial and error and i don't want you to be someone just to fulfill my vacancy. For now, i hope fate will show us the way if its meant to be. And i ain't gonna stop right here because i really care for you. Now, future or never.

My Strong Pillar

2010-06-22T01:38:00.003+08:00

This post came late eventhough I thought it is never late to talk about my dear strong pillar, my father.

I always thought that Ayah is my hero. He is always there to rescue me in times when i can't even make a small decision in my life. He is a retired policeman who often has his own ways to discipline kakak and i. I remember that the only way for us to pass maths when we were young was through endless scolding and teaching from Ayah. Even Kak Jun was once told to stand on the table.

My dad is strict yet a reasonable man. He is a knowlegable man who is filled with information. I even call him my walking encyclopedia. Since young i always had migraine and Ayah is always there to massage my head till i feel better. Sometimes i wonder what will happen if Ayah is not around anymore. He might have a different way to show his love, but i know that deep in his heart he really love us a lot.

Today, the only thing that is in my mind is to make him and Mak happy. And i am very sure that when he saw kakak and i graduate wearing our rope and tussle on our head, his wishes came true. At least his hard earn savings was for meant for us.

Ayah, you're the first man that i fall in love with. If someone were to ask me what kind of guy/husband i'm looking for, i want him to be like you. Who is so selfless and willing to do anything for his family. Ayah, while i'm typing this, i can't help but to cry silently. I owe you so much and i don't know if i'm able to give you back for all the things you have done. Ayah, I hope you live till ripe old age with Mak and InsyaAllah i will take care of you. You and Mak are the most special person in my life.

Thank you for always and will always continue to be my strong pillar. I love you Ayah.

Spasmodic

2010-06-19T01:27:00.002+08:00

Things happen for a reason and i didn't expect it to come too soon. There were too many things up in my head that require my full attention. I guess i will just go with the flow. And InsyaAllah may Allah give his guidance.

Everyone seems to have the same kind of first impresssion of me. It's not that i wouldn't want them to know the real me. But thats just Jalilah for you. I might be the most outgoing and crazy person, but somehow there are so much more to it and vice versa.

Someone told me after meeting me for the first time that i'm a reserve person who doesn't really talk a lot and extremely shy. I didn't say he was wrong. It is true. I'm more of a person who rather keep her mouth shut the first time i met someone because most of the time i was actually trying to fit or rather trying to understand him or her.

I wouldn't want to judge a person because who am i to judge others. Sometimes when i keep quiet that doesn't mean i am least interested in the conversation or simply lost. I just prefer to listen because i felt that by listening it helps us to understand more of a person. The words they tend to use, their reaction and most importantly their opinion. Sometimes the most profound statements are often said in silence.

For me, first impression is not always right. Everyone see everything in different light. I guess we need to know a person well enough to understand him or her better. And doesn't mean we know a person for a very long time, we already know him/her in and out.

But whatever it is, i hope you will accept me flaws and all. :(

Once Smitten, Twice Shy

2010-06-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

I've been waiting for this day to come. But i somehow felt afraid and i was lost of words. It felt as if both my lips been glued together and my heart stop beating the second i heard those words. I really don't know how i should react and this is somehow something too early to say and imagine.

It's been a week and i really hope that the much awaited letter will come soon. InsyaAllah. At least i have something to feel happy about and occupied with. Please come soon. Please come soon.

FML or Be Bless.

2010-06-03T14:30:00.005+08:00

I keep complaining to Mak recently that i can't stand having long hair. Moreover it's in the hotest month. Howbeit at the same time, i am proud of myself that my hair isn't the victim of my stress or sadness anymore. I remember that i use to cut my hair every 4-5 mths. Everytime i cut my hair i felt like i've losen up the burden on my shoulder when the reality it's not. That's when i realize that it's all about human psychology.

I get irritated at times when people tend to say FML which means 'Fuck my life'. I mean come on, there's surely something that you don't realize of what you're bless with. The truth is i just hate people using vulgarities, exactly like how i hate to use it. I agree that at times when we are angry or so on, we tend to use crude words on situation or people. At times when i accidentally use it even without thinking or even if it cross my mind, i felt guilty for days because i know that even if i use thousands of vulgarity words, it will never subside my anger. I really don't how people nowadays can use it on daily basis like a normal word.

I am not a saint nor an angel but if we can avoid using it, why did we still use it? I think my parents have given me enough education for me to know what is right and what is wrong. And definitely what i should be bless of. This is certainly a reminder for me.

"Fill what's empty. Empty what's full."

Irrefutable Logic

2010-05-28T02:19:00.000+08:00

I began to realize that it's hard sometimes for us to make others understand what we're trying to say. We often mistaken it for something hurtful instead of taking it in open mind. And that's when a misunderstanding occur.

I remembered that when i first enroll to Mdis/Oklahoma City Uni, the people around me was way too concern of its recognition. They kept asking the same thing like whether i've made the right choice, if that's really what i want and most importantly whether the institute is recognize. And most of the time, i turned on deaf ears. I was kind of hurt because i didn't expect it to come from my close relatives and close friends. All i ever wanted was encouraging words from them. But i got none.

Nevertheless i began to understand and as days goes by, i take it as they are just being concern. We might not know what others are thinking, but all we can do is to think positive and brush off those silly thoughts.

In this context it does not just apply on situation like i mentioned. This reminds me of a quote which i've read it somewhere that says, 'Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.' Well thats something that every human is lack of. Positive thinking.

So i found a way to my happiness. And that is positive thoughts and never be afraid to tell the truth even if it hurt because at the end of the day I am all by myself. What i feel so insecure, remains the cure.

Un-thinkable

2010-05-26T01:16:00.007+08:00

"Everyone thinks his/her own burden the heaviest."

I was trusting my instinct these few days and i didn't know whether i should be happy about it. I felt relief but the same time i regret. I think this the right time to stand on my feet and InsyaAllah may hope be the last thing i lose. But then again there were too many times i was against my own instinct. I regretted making those decisions but i somehow get over it in months/years to come.

I've kind of used to the fact that i will always end up feeling despair. So i shall take it that whatever i'm going through today is just something that i learn to grow up and become wiser. I guess to forget a wrong is the best revenge.

Human often fail to realize their mistakes. Sometimes we even point our finger to others and afraid to admit our mistakes. I agree. I might be one of them. I was taking a nap in the afternoon few days ago, and i dreamt about Tok Bak. He told me that it won't hurt so much if the mistake doesn't cost a cent. The only thing that i can do is to really learn from the mistake i made. And i don't know why when i woke up, i felt lost.

I miss you Tok Bak. I miss your kind words. I might have missed you in my dua' but the truth is i really miss you and Mak Tok. I'm sure if you're here today, kakak and i will be more motivated than we are today. Maybe when you were around, i was too young to acknowledge your kind words. But as i grow older, and get reminded of what you said, i just wish you're here. Especially when you keep telling me 'Kawan biar ramai, sahabat sejati biar satu'. And now i understand what you meant by it. Maybe tiada istilah sahabat sejati in this world.

I was just too kind to people that i often ended up getting hurt. That's Jalilah for you.

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

What Hurts the Most

2010-05-25T04:51:00.001+08:00

Looking at the clouds is one of the thing that enable to clear the burden off my mind.

I probably said the wrong thing at the wrong time eventhough i felt that it had never been the right time. We always talk about being truthful because even if it hurts, thats the truth that we have to live with it, I was wrong and i underestimated myself. I didn't know telling the truth hurts ourself more than hurting another person.

Words are only words. But words are the strongest weapon. I didn't know where i got those courage to even say all the those words. And that's probably the thing people yet to know about me.

Haven't been sleeping and i've long miss updating blog at weird hours of the day because this is the only place where i can rant whatever i want without feeling as if i've restrictions. I think i better hit the sack. Gotta clear my mind and hopefully when i wake up it will a better day ahead. InsyaAllah.

Having to pretend nothing was wrong, when everything was wrong, was excruciating.

Drowning

2010-05-21T01:22:00.002+08:00

I was watching youtube since an hour ago and every time i listen to a song, it just got me reminded me of someone. Everyone might have different ways of reminding themselves of people, places or situation. As for me, every song i link it with the memories i had.

Sometimes i wish i could turn back time. Impossible as it may seems but that's what everyone, every human in this world always wish for. If wishes were horses, beggers might ride. We regret and fret over it every time. And that's what i call life. What is happiness? This question has been going on my head for days and the only thing that cross my mind is that 'When one door of happiness closes, another opens'. I believe that things will get better and at one point we will just carry on with our life no matter how hard it may seems.

Was reading a book called 'Not married, Not bothered' which i borrowed it from Rekha. And when i was reading it, I was thinking about myself. Yes I am not married but i am bothered. I don't know how much longer till i find my perfect someone or should i say the one that i believe will make my life complete. The one that Allah has written it for me. How many wrong person till i meet that someone. Well i know i'm not ready for marriage but i guess i can't run away from thinking about it since i've been receiving lots of invitation from my friends for their engagement and wedding.

Every year when my age increases, i fear of my own expectations. I fear to attempt something impossible. Just like to square the circle. And this reminds me of what my parents often said. As you make your bed, so you must lie on it. I mean i know that i have to bear the consequences of my own mistakes because from there i learn to be wiser. However it's just hard to brush off those frothy thoughts at time.

Well i guess unexpected things never (seldom) come singly.

Cheer up Jalilah!

Sexy Bloodshot Eyes

2010-05-08T22:14:00.004+08:00

Sore eyes just have to come when too many plans coming up next week. But somehow i felt that this is the time when i should rest my eyes and get a proper sleep.

Tomorrow is Mother's day and I don't want to lose this opportunity to wish Mak a very Happy Mother's Day. To me you're best mother. The one who scarifice and think about her family before herself. The one who was there giving me moral support in everything i do. The one who taught kakak and i be a good muslimah. What will i do without you Mak? You're the one person that i kept thinking about when i was away in States. Looking at you now is like a reflection of kakak and i. As we grow older, we see ourselves being more like you and there's no reasons for us not to like it. Because you're not just our mother, but a friend and our idol. As you grew older each day i get worried of you each time when you was out alone. I know i was just being paranoid and i admit that i still want you to live till ripe old age and see me married and have children. You don't have to worry because i will take care you just like how you took care of me. InsyaAllah.

Mak, I love you more than anything else in this word. Whatever i wrote here you might not be able to read it. But i pray that Allah will continue to bless you with good health and happiness always. :(( Amin. InsyaAllah.

I need some Closure

2010-05-03T00:06:00.004+08:00

I know. This post probably won't be necessary anymore since i haven't been active in blogging. My commitment have changed as of first Jan 2010. The reason for this post is simply because i couldn't find anywhere to rant the usual uncertainties and my usual worries. Though i felt that certain things are better kept in my heart.

I try to understand the people around me, the situation i'm at and my worries that kept me having sleepless night. However, the more i tried, the more confuse i get. I guess it was right. There's certain things are better left unsaid and unquestioned. I don't want to break the law of nature. So i somehow felt that i should just let it go. Allah knows best.

Not many people know about me. I might tend to look the usual. But there were a lot of things running in my head. I might be smiling but my heart is breaking. I tend to use the word 'hate' often but i never mean it. Its natural for a person to feel lost and ended up having lonely hearts. Howbeit i believe that Allah have store something good for me and that he is just testing me. Testing my patience, my self-motivation and my constant doa. I don't want to lose hope. I want to keep going and just keep going.

I'm so embarrass with Allah. I haven't been reciting Quran and when i know the peace that i want is just right in front my eyes. Forgive me Ya Allah. :((

Tuhanku ampunkanlah segala dosaku
Tuhanku maafkanlah kejahilan hambaMu

Ku sering melanggar laranganMu
Dalam sedar ataupun tidak
Ku sering meninggalkan suruhanMu
Walau sedar aku milikMu

If this what we call LOVE.

2010-02-18T20:44:00.004+08:00

My merriment vacation doesn't have to be very far but what's important is I have my family around me.

What will I do without them?

Empty inside

2010-02-11T23:19:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry i can't be there for you because it can never be the same again. a year ago i might be crying for all your lies. a year ago i might be that girl who always think of others before herself. but today i'm just not me that you know all along. the truth is i can never face you again because i know for all the things you said, i can never lie to myself that i'm not hurt at all. it hurts so badly that sometimes i wish we ain't talking anymore. and for all the things i went through, you're not even there for me instead it was others who always came to my rescue. yet you're always there for others. but i'm never going to be like you. running away from people just because you can't face the reality. i might not be the same but i am still here.

move on. thats the right words for now.

In a way, I need a change

2010-02-07T23:17:00.006+08:00

when i say a change, this is the change i'm talking about. less blogging, closer to Allah. insyaAllah. i've been blogging since i'm in sec one or two and i think it's time i should distant myself from blogger world.

there were so many things happened for the past one month since i came back from U.S. too many things to be done and too many things in mind. i believe that once i set my mind to it, naught can change my decision and i'm never going look back. life.

at times i think i'm a slow leaner and slow in making decision. i love to take things one at a time so that i will not regret in future. yes. im afraid of making mistakes but i'm sure it's part and parcel of human life.

how can we hide our tears in laughter? i'm not a good pretender but everyday without fail i will seek help from Allah. i'm sure he is the only one that we will show me the NUR, the right path for me to choose.

Kini ku beri satu amaran
Jangan nanti jadi cabaran
Aku ingin kau memadam
kenangan
Menjadi mimpi berterbangan

More today than yesterday

2010-01-14T15:41:00.000+08:00

Went to Disneyland across street from our hotel on our day three at LA the whole day. I guess the best part was the fireworks. I really enjoyed all the rides. If only we took the two days pass.

Anyway, right now i'm trying my best not to procrastinate finishing up my Environmental Science and Management Personal Lifestyle assignments. I still have to study for both exams. There were too many things in mind and hopefully i'm able to complete all the tasks. I should focus myself on one thing at a time.

Is it natural to get worried about your parents when they grow older or when we get older? I'm most worried of my mum. I thank Allah that she doesn't have any serious illness. However I get paranoid at times whenever she went out alone. I guess this feeling must be what my parents felt when I'm away from them.

I believe that when you love someone so much, getting worried of them is natural. Something that we can't help it guess.

It must have been hard on Nini and her mum for the start of 2010. They say we've got to put ourselves in their shoes to feel what they are going through. And I agree on a malay proverb which says, 'Berat mata memandang berat lagi bahu yang memikul'. I really hope her mum get well soon and may GOD have mercy on them.

My heart sore these few days so badly. Seeing. hearing and knowing things that i rather not know makes my heart ache. How can it be when they say, learn to let go. Qada' dan Qadar Allah is something that is hard to swallow and its hurts. But im sure Allah has something good store for us. InsyaAllah.

Wichita Mountain is LOVE

2010-01-05T12:24:00.002+08:00

Life been pretty much hectic with upcoming events and activities for this month and next month. Two more exams and assignment. After that i should be free from school life.

Will be meeting Dayah and Rekha later at Orchard. We plan to eat Ayam Penyek and probably slack at Starbucks, Ion Orchard. Can't wait to fulfill my craving. hehe.

I am so not intend to delete this blog. Therefore i shall update more pictures from my U.S trip as a form of reminiscing the past.

Today is a special day. It's Luqman first day of school at PAP. Hopefully he is able to adapt to the new environment with friends of different races. Busu miss you Luqman Hafiz. :( Have fun at school.

I'm back!

2009-12-28T06:36:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulilah. Reached Singapore on Friday evening with two heavy luggages and one huge hiking bag. lol.

Been waking up at weird hours and still trying to get use to Singapore timing again. Mak cooked all my favourites and we went out for dinner on Saturday night to have Satay and whatsnot.

Finally all the 25 albums up on facebook and i ought to select pictures to develop it. There were too many exquisite pictures that i give up selecting it. Probably will do it end of this week when I have nothing on. Ordered the graduation pictures and will be mail out within 10 working days. Can't wait!

OCU, Graduation, Penthouse at Marriott Inn, Disneyland, Hollywood, Whichita Mountain, Santa Monica Beach, Shopping and everything else was awesome. Love the weather and the people. In Oklahoma you can just strike a conversation with strangers without feeling awkward. That's probably the reason why we felt like home. LA was different than Oklahoma of course.

I guess it's a life time experience which I will treasure. I will surely come back one day to Oklahoma and reminiscence all the good memories excluding the food. hehe.

As for now, I will dedicate myself to good food and more good food.

THE LAST

2009-12-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

It's 8am here and I'm seating at the guest lounge trying to remember all the good memories that i had for the whole three weeks at Oklahoma. The roommates/pandis, the food, our penthouse, ocu, lectures, gym, laundry and to many to mention. Oh yes and of course the nice places I went to. It's true when they say that sometimes when we had so much fun, the time just pass so quickly without us realizing it.

Today will be the last lecture, the last breakfast, the last night at Oklahoma and the last day of going to school. Will be having pre graduation this afternoon. I wish mak and ayah will be there to witness it. But Im sure they will be watching the live video. :( And afterall there will be another graduation at SG next year.

Oh well, im done with packing and tomorrow morning we will be going off to LA. 6am flight. Can't for the long awaited holiday! Universal studio and disneyland, im coming baby.

Luqman, busu is coming back soon with spencer and sir handel. So be good ok? Hugs

Last day of Final TV Producation

2009-12-05T12:41:00.003+08:00

It's 11:04pm here. Alhamdulilah TV production went well with the "strangers" from the other batch. Can't wait to see it on the CD that Prof Karlie will give us before we are leaving Oklahoma. So far been spending most of the time at OCU. Finally went shopping this afternoon at Penn Square Mall. Will be going to Belle Isle Shopping Centre tomorrow.

Can't wait to see the rest of the classmates. I bet they are now at LAX airport taking plane to Oklahoma.

*Ayah, Mak, i miss both you alot. I wish you are here with me so i can talk to you without thinking that i'm going to spent alot on the phone bills eventhough i already get a calling prepaid card. I miss ranting about everything to you. :( I hope both of you are ok. And Ayah, get well soon ok?

Exhausted

2009-12-02T12:06:00.001+08:00

10pm here right now. Haven't really had the time to webcam with my family. Called them every two days and i think i already miss my mum's cooking eventhough it's only days i'm here. My nose bleed and just don't want to go off since i reached Oklahoma. Hate it!

TV production is a killer. Lots of things to get into my head and i'm always getting tired. Been waking up at 4am and off to school. Will be having final tv production on Friday. Hopefully i won't screwed up anything.

*Kak Jun, pictures up on facebook and tell omuni and luqman i miss them so so much ok? :(

JET LAG

2009-11-28T15:00:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulilah. Reached the Marriott Residence Inn penthouse at around 7am Singapore time. The rest of the pictures are up at facebook. Its 1.14am here and i think i should hit the bed. So tired. Didn't get enough sleep on the plane. So now its pay back time.

Tomorrow plan to go wallmart to get groceries and the important stuff.

Miss my family already!

Over It

2009-11-25T23:02:00.001+08:00

MasyaAllah. In less than 34 hours i will be going off to U.S. I bet those who are in the first batch are packing like crazy now. Called Nini awhile ago and she is still struggling to keep her luggage within 23kg. As for me i can't be bothered anymore. I can't possibly take out all my clothes or the winter clothing right. So all the best to me.

I think there were times when we thought we know someone around us very well but actually we don't. There are always alot of secret that we kept to ourselves and we are so afraid of telling anyone. And that i understand very well. Oh well thats human nature i suppose.

I'm currently talking to Dayah on FB chat. She is seriously making me excited. Not helping at all. Watches are making me crazy and i bet the mission to buy a watch back home is impossible. It should be plural. Watches. lol

Luqmannnn.. what will i do without you baby?

In your head

2009-11-19T14:21:00.002+08:00

There were too many things in mind but i just don't have the mood to update my blog anymore. Twitter is more like a mini blogging for me. So that's probably the reason why i forsaken this little space of mine which i've been with it through thick and thin. lol

Last Saturday was Scripting exam and i hope i ace it. I really do. At the same time i hope that the one day i was unable to come for lecture due to unfathomable migraine won't bring my grade down. InsyaAllah. Check in to the chalet at East Coast on Friday but went back home at night since i'm having exam the next morning. Well Luqman's birthday/my farewell party or whatever you call it and family gathe was enjoyable. Luqman definitely enjoy himself very much till he refused to go home on the Sunday when we are supposed to check out.

I will miss all of you especially my adorable nephew. As of tomorrow, 7 more days before i'm off to U.S. I already finished packing my luggage and i guess i'm only left with packing the lappie and whatsnot. At this point of time, i really have mixed emotions about it. Well i can say that i'm happy and excited yet feeling sad. Going off on Eid'ul Adha is definitely not helping.

Kakak started her honors programme yesterday and i hope that it will a smooth journey for her. InsyaAllah. My prayers go out to you Kak Jun! You sure can do it!

Haj season is here and i will be accompanying mak to Sent Cik Ara tomorrow at the aiport. Will force mak to eat Popeyes with me. hehe. Craving for the buttermilk biscuits. *slurps

*//Dear You,
You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're
becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking
back at you
And i hope you find everything that you need.

Higgledy-Piggledy

2009-11-05T13:43:00.000+08:00

There are so many things coming up this month so that's probably the reason why i decided to give a break to blogging. Will be having scripting exam next saturday and i've not finish my post assignment. But hopefully InsyaAllah by this weekend so that i've ample time to study for the exam.

Got back my passport with the student visa and now i guess the only thing i'm left with is packing. I've already folded the winter clothes and i ought to pack the rest after exam. I hate packing. seriously.

Bought all the necessary stuff for Luqman's birthday next week at goldkist chalet and i'm so freaking excited.

I think I should really continue doing my assignment instead of procrastinating it. I don't even know why i decided to update my blog. shucks.

If its possible

2009-10-17T12:46:00.001+08:00

Post assignment received. Trying to avoid it till next week.
Will be going for a few open houses today. Don't feel like going but i just have to.

Oh well Happy Deepavali to the girls. Save some muruku for me please.

*//ignorance is my new best friend.

Literary Sensbility

2009-10-12T12:41:00.001+08:00

Having few days off from school till tomorrow. Been spending most of the time reading at home and helping Mak to cook. Someday i hope i can cook as good as Mak. I just envy her alot! Well who don't envy their own mum right?

The days are going by so quickly that every event felt like it was just yesterday. Recently i met my Mr-not-comfirm-yet-lovable. Well not recently. It's been years actually. Not sure if my parents will approve him. But i guess dating would be prefect for now. Im ready for commitment but having doubt about this whole thing which is definitely not helping. So Mak told me to think and believe in fate and faith. Well i began to realize the meaning of condone relationship before marriage although i might not be fully against it. I don't know. I guess it depends our perceptions yet know the limit as a muslimah.

He is coming back to Singapore this evening. I hope he reach SG safely. InsyaAllah.

And Ayah is seriously seriously getting BB. urgh!

The Sweetest Love

2009-10-10T11:03:00.001+08:00

MasyaAllah. There are so many things happened but i just can't find the time to update my blog. Well lebaran was ok. Nothing special. But Alhamdulilah this year i managed to fast the whole month again.

Finally the last module! Scripting module by Prof. Karlie is definitely stressful. She will always call Nini and I for comments and whatsnot. I'm so afraid that she will lowered my grade since i missed last thrusday lecture. I was already at Queenstown but I decided to go polyclinic opposite unicampus instead because i kept vomitting. I don't think i will be alert in class. So yes. Two days MC.

I've done with the things to bring for my U.S trip. For now i'm left with the interview with U.S embassy, taking travel vaccination and packing the things which will be done early next month. Hopefully everything will go on smoothly. InsyaAllah.

I'm kind excited for Luqman 3rd Birthday next month. I already bought for him a shirt and i'm thinking of buying Skarloey or Sir Handel for him.

Oh and what should i get for Ayah?

p.s. come back soon from bangkok! imy.

Last Day of Ramadhan

2009-09-19T06:25:00.001+08:00

I kept this draft for 5 days and i finally decided to blog.

Alhamdulilah. So far Ramadhan has been very meaningful. I know I've neglected some of my friends to break-fast together. But this year I just want to have it with my family. Breaking fast with your family is just something we rarely do it everyday so why not take the opportunity.

Today is the last day of Ramadhan and the only thing that I'm looking forward for Syawal is Takbir. It gets me everytime. I won't be surprise if I'm the only one crying on the plane to Oklahoma. lol. Yes girls. I'm going to cry. So please bring a tissue box for your dear friend here.

There were some things yet to be done later on. Will have to follow Ayah to take ketupat and whatsnot. Twas the night before Syawal, which will always be the last minute cleaning up.

Ketika cinta bertasbih nadiku berdenyut merdu
Kembang kempis dadaku merangkai butir cinta
Garis tangan tergambar tak bisa aku menentang
Sujud syukur padamu atas segala cinta

Needs and Wants

2009-09-08T21:34:00.004+08:00

boughtawatchagainandmymumtoldmetohangallthewatcheslikeanecklace.

ps, i still love you girls no matter what ok?

16 Ramadhan

2009-09-06T13:01:00.003+08:00

I've got the dates for Oklahoma trip which will be on the 28Nov. Surprisingly, i'm one of the nine people from my batch that will be going on the 28. Almost all will be going on the 5Dec. Shucks. So i shall see you people during graduation. yes?

So right now we are in the midst of finding flight that goes to and from Singapore. Most of the flight from LAX to SG is fully booked and we've got to find another alternative date to go home plus our extra vacation which we plan to change it to Tokyo instead. It's kind of haywire due to the last minute booking since it's the peak season. Totally hate it.

Its the 16 Ramadhan today and my room is in a mess. Need to clean up by next week.

Our little world

2009-09-04T02:50:00.001+08:00

So many things to do yet so little time.

I really hope the the dates will be comfirm soon so that we can book our flight.

URGH.

*waiting for sahur. hungryyy.

Circles Never End

2009-08-28T23:08:00.003+08:00

Behavioural science exam tmr! And i already received email from Ethan regarding the ocu on campus residency briefing by Prof. Karlie next week tuesday. Finnaly!

I'm not sure if what i'm going to say will go into your head. Its kind of obvious that you tried so hard to be someone else when you don't realize that you're just making fool of youself. So you know what?!

Just be happy for who and what you are.

Sixth Day of Ramadhan

2009-08-27T12:20:00.003+08:00

Will be having Behavioural Science exam this Saturday and i'm still trying to remember everything. Plan to skip question eight and hopefully it's not one of the questions.

Alhamdulilah Ramadhan has been meaningful as always.

I guess when we get older, we tend to realize the real meaning of Ramadhan and see the need to make ourselves closer to Allah. I really hope it stay this way.

First day of Ramadhan

2009-08-22T15:22:00.004+08:00

Met the girls yesterday. Ate KFC, watched The proposal and we got lost at Ion orchard. =)

So i managed to be brave and tell the truth. I don't want to wait any longer because 3 months was enough to make me a completely different person and i don't feel good about it.

I just hate pretending to be the perfect fit of yours when I know, I can never be.

I'm sure Allah knows the best for us.

And as for you, i hope you will find solutions to your problems and have faith in Allah because it could be Allah's test for you, for us.. I'm sure you will be fine.

Its hard to believe that things will never be the same again. But i know Allah has something good in store for me. InsyaAllah.

Ramadhan Mubarak to all.

May Allah continue to plant iman and takwa for us in the month of ramadhan. InsyaAllah.

Sunshine

2009-08-18T13:27:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Kak Jun!
I ♥ You!

If it is.

2009-08-17T19:53:00.004+08:00

I don't know if its the time to give myself a chance.

I don't want to make the wrong move and regret later.

I don't want to hurt someone for my own selfishness.

Yes. I'm stuck.

You're right.

Kenduri/BirthdayCelebration/Family Gathe

2009-08-16T11:32:00.005+08:00

Celebrated Kak Jun, Nurun Naja and Fadzil birthday!

Luqman thought that it was his birthday. huhu

He kept saying "Nobearber! Nobearber! I am three!"

*You win!

Enjoy the Silence

2009-08-11T17:11:00.005+08:00

Played playdoh with Luqman and made Hot chocolate cake. *Slurps.

I ought to start my two application papers and study all eight questions for exam.

Will be having kenduri this weekends.

Bought Kak Jun's Birthday gift last week and i intend to surprise her this Saturday. =)

Thank you for waking me up from my worst nightmare.

More than Kind

2009-08-10T19:43:00.001+08:00

Was reading the other side of the story and i can't stop giggling.

Life could be just fabulously brilliant.

I'm so getting best friends forever soon.

Red and White

2009-08-07T15:59:00.006+08:00

Busu loves you Luqman Hafiz.

Whimsical thoughts

2009-08-03T19:21:00.003+08:00

This morning was the last day of Behavioral Science lectures. So i'm officially left with one module here. Well thats basically what i've been telling myself to get motivated.

Made bread pudding yesterday evening. Didn't expect it to be edible. huhu. Since its a success will make another one for kenduri on the 15. :) I will have 3-4 weeks for study break before BS exam. So i intend to bake chocolate fudge cake and macarons.

Oh do i have to initiate a conversation with you?

It's written all over your face

2009-07-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

School was ok. 830 lectures is a chore. Gotta wake up at 615 in order to leave the house at 7am. Shucks. 5 more days of quizzes, 4 more application paper and that's it! oh and of course exam. =)

I really don't know what to type on my blog entry anymore. Perhaps there are certain things i should just keep it to myself. I've made alot of excuses recently and i don't why i did that. Not that i'm running away from things but im afraid only Allah knows.

It doesn't happen for the first time

2009-07-21T14:58:00.006+08:00

Craving for LJS was finally fulfilled.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is very disappointing. Hated the ending.
I almost shouted "That's it? Just like that?!"

And yes. Thanks to Dayah that I'm addicted to PlayDoh. Can't help it lah!

Oh i seriously have nothing else to say.
And i think that i shouldn't say anything anymore.
It's probably useless now.

Fall Again

2009-07-17T19:23:00.002+08:00

I'm getting lazy to blog and i don't find any purpose for blogging anymore. I guess when we get older, our priority change. I kept telling myself that Change is Imminent anyway. Alhamdulilah i celebrated my 22th birthday just like the way i want it to be. Mak cooked briyani for my birthday and those wishes and gifts from everyone close to me, Thank you. Ayah, your prayers is the best gift.

I was talking about our future with En, Angel and Steph yesterday. That's when i realized I have to do something to myself and start being selfish for once.

I was already down with flu yesterday and I took a long time to decide if I should join the girls for dinner. Since Steph is going back to Ausie this Monday and I think I've rejected their dinner invitation for few times, I should make up for it.
So as expected, im having fever currently. Luqman call me monster whenever i talk and im trying my best to avoid conversation.

*but i get the strangest feeling that we're done.

We talk about Forgiveness

2009-07-12T14:02:00.002+08:00

I miss my/Luqman's terrapins. I hope they are doing fine at my Aun't place. huhu

Oh such a beautiful sunday. Going to Gaylang later. I want chendol! *slurps

Cast your fears aside

2009-07-08T16:26:00.003+08:00

Aunt and cousin from KL will be going back home tonight. See you all again for Abg Budin engagement/wedding. InsyaAllah.

Oh i miss my terrapins. :(

Free Love on the streets

2009-07-07T12:41:00.005+08:00

Met these peeps yesterday for a lunch at Sakura, dessert at Slice and hang out session at McCafe.

I'm suppose to meet up Angeline, Steph and En for dinner this evening but i don't think I can join them today. I'm so tired from going out everyday and i need to tidy up my room before Mak starts nagging.

Oh sometimes some things are pretty obvious but yet we still want try it out.

Weird right. Thats the truth.

Life's greatest lesson

2009-07-03T23:06:00.006+08:00

Submitted V&C worldview paper this afternoon with Rekha. Felt so relieved and hopefully i will get at least a C for the most annoying assignment.

Well aunt from KL came to Singapore and she will be staying over at our place this weekends. Gonna bring them out tomorrow for visiting and all.

Oh i still wants that Charles and Keith bag that I've been eyeing since last month! sheesh. But I finnally got my Western Lawn crumpler bag. So thats it. No more bags.

Remind me of all I am and all I have to give.

A thousands time

2009-06-28T15:13:00.003+08:00

I think I've taken the exact kind of photo with Ronald when im young. Be it with my sister or my parents. So i guess it runs in the family. It's Luqman's turn now. Probably the family rituals. huhu

I was reading awhile ago and it was freaking hot when suddenly it started pouring. Now my clothes that is three quater dry got drenched. So i guess i've to wash and dry it again. Urgh. Told Mak to get the dryer on top of the washing machine but she insisted on saving the electricity. Lol. It's peaceful and quiet being all alone. Parents went for relative wedding at Pasir Ris and Luqman went out with his parents. So here i am enjoying my life away. Ok wait. Not particularly enjoying it because i've my worldview assignment to finish up. Well at least Luqman is not around to pester me.

I began to see things in different ways when i read a few blogs which i don't know who they are. It's fun sometimes to read about their life. There's always something that i can pick up as a lesson learnt from these mature adults. Mature in a way that they are married with kids or even a grandparent now. Technology. Mak always complaint about learning computer and whatsnot is hard. In return she will always said that she is not against technology but she find no purpose. Well that's my mother. I remember donkeys years ago when she bought a cellphone (way before my dad and us). She is so afraid to switch it on because she thinks that if you switch on the phone you will have to pay. It's funny to think back about it.

I really don't know how those people in rural areas live without technology especially internet. As for me my life is too dependent on technology. Now i really hope there's something i can read to help me with my worldview paper on internet. shucks.

Slowly pulling it back

2009-06-24T01:44:00.003+08:00

Went out to do assignment with the girls today and i love our crazy conference conversations online even when we are facing each other. huhu

I realise that this what I'm suppose to do and that is not what I'm suppose to be. I was born to be very forgiving. Might be hard to forget but there's certain things that I'm afraid is beyond what I thought I might be.

Suprisingly you got me all wrong.

Something's Not Right Here

2009-06-22T12:06:00.003+08:00

In the KTM train with bed. shiok!

Yes. I'm in holiday mood but since my worldview paper is still on hold, i should really continue doing it. I've less than 11 days before the submission date and therefore i decided to do it today with Dayah. Hopefully tomorrow too.

Well KL trip with fam without Ayah was fun. But i'm sure if Ayah is around, it will be double fun and at the same time we don't have to take their Putra, Monorial and so on. Save the trouble. But Alhamdulilah we booked the hotel at the town area and near to the ChowKit monorail station. So it was quite accessible to reach alot of places. We took KTM train to and fro Singapore. The journey was way longer as it took around 8 hours. Well of course Luqman is the happy one who kept saying "Luqman take Thomas train." and then he will giggle.

Oh well it's 1234 and i think i should get ready now.

So Much To Ask

2009-06-16T23:25:00.001+08:00

Luqman first cry-free hair cut

I kept thinking about my future ahead these days. But somehow, I have learnt not to think so much for the moment and believe in what Allah has store in for me and without too much planning for the future is the best course to take in life. I will have less anxiety, less heartache and less disappointment. On the other hand, if what i plan really happens, it is a bonus for me – a gift from Allah.

And all things will end

2009-06-15T21:37:00.004+08:00

Finally made some progression on the worldview paper. Hopefully i make sense out of it. Luqman has been bugging me since 8 just now that he wanted to watch Thomas & Friends on youtube or as he claim 'tube'.

Kids nowadays grow up too fast.

I can't wait to go out of Singapore this thrusday. Need a little getaway.

I bet Luqman will be all over excited to take the KTM train. huhu.

Just One Try

2009-06-14T00:59:00.005+08:00

Lift me up

Just lift me up don't make a sound

And let me hold you up before you hit the ground

See all come

You say youre all right

But i get the strangest feeling

That you've gone away

And will you find out who you are too late to change.

Letting go was hard.

Thinking of it makes it harder.

Loving you was the hardest.

Never say Never

2009-06-11T02:14:00.002+08:00

Met Wanny in the afternoon. Had our nonsensical conversations at Odeon Towers.

Thanks for the day out!!

Sometimes our reactions might hurt others unknowingly.

Sometimes we missunderstood others easily.

And all that because we are only human.

I'm always afraid of hurting someone else but i sure did.

But please forgive me for all my flaws.

*Buss miss you Luqman Hafiz!

Too polite to object

2009-06-09T18:34:00.002+08:00

This is proof that im queen of random.

I changed my url for no specific reason.

It just amaze me how i presistent i can be.

So there you go. It ends just like that.

More in common

2009-06-06T11:20:00.003+08:00

Sister is back home and she is recuperating. Alhamdulilah.
I have not been doing anything productive these days except for reading my life away.
Went out with Dayah yesterday and i found this pinkish/redish dress that i like for a cheapo price. Must be the GSS sale i guess. I know. I ought to buy my winter stuff for the residency trip instead but i just can resist to get sidetrack ~~at times~~ all the time. I wish the GSS will be all year long this year so i don't have to rush buying things.

Oh did you ever realise that you're soooooooo MEAN?

Well of course you don't, because you're just someone extremely selfish that i've known.

I wonder if you feel the same way too

2009-05-31T12:17:00.005+08:00

Yes. The usual ritual is taking pictures for every module. I think throughout these years we have countless number of pictures taken and it brings us back the memories. My favourite will be the unglam pictures of cause. huhu.

Brought Luqman out to watch Monsters vs Aliens this afternoon. I was hoping that he won't fall asleep while watching it. But no! He was fully awake and excited. Haha. Planning to bring him to watch Ice Age 3 once it is out on cinema. :)

I still can't stop laughing looking at our similar faces. I remember having the same tudung as her. With the same smile and the same pose but i can't/lazy to find it since i have too many albums.
Round tudung, Round specs and Round face. Stop it sey!
I agree with you Dayah. How come we can still go out looking like that??!
*hide myself*
Ok wait. Maybe that WAS fashion. huhu

*not becoming better eh Jalilah. especially the fats! hahaha

The lost ground

2009-05-23T19:57:00.004+08:00

I guess the whole week of mythology and philosophy added up to the migraine i'm having right now. I'm afraid this module isn't for me. But do i have a choice? No. There are so many things that contradict to Islam and i don't know why i take so long to understand the fundamental idea of this module. I just can't wait to get over and done with this module. Well of course getting good grade for this module is another story.

Sunday is finally here and i have lots of read up to do on Mill's utilitarianism and Saint Joan. So there goes my weekends. It just swallows me whole.

The Flashback Starts

2009-05-15T00:00:00.004+08:00

6 more months before he is three and he is one smart boy that i adore so much. I've already planned on what to buy for him on his birthday. So excited!

Well the days are coming by so quick and i will be having values and cultures module next Monday at unicampus. Cheesetofu! Juices! Pau! huhu. But i promise myself that i will be going back to the gym on Tuesday. I hate afternoon lectures. Shucks. What is it again? Power of myth? I bet i will be so sleepy during the video sessions. As usual.

I'm finally done painting my parents' room and now the living room. Alhamdulilah. Thank you Allah we've moved to a smaller house. Save the trouble. hehe

Oh, get well soon Omuni. Hugsss

It's hard to kill

2009-05-11T21:24:00.003+08:00

The three aircon broke down this evening even when we rarely use it and i don't know why i feel so hot now. Urgh.

Hay Dairies Goat Farm

2009-05-10T14:33:00.004+08:00

I can't remember when was the last time i went to goat farm. Probably about 10 years back when i'm still in primary school. Suprisingly i'm more excited than Luqman. When we reached, he was still clueless. He kept asking if it's lion or tiger or cat or cow eventhough we have told him umpteen times that they are goats and they totally look different from the animals he has mentioned. Kids. Can't blame them. Sometimes they even get confuse between birds and chickens. huhu.

Its Mother's Day and i'm thankful to Allah for Mak who scarifice everything for us. Who has been there each time we need someone to confide. I don't know how life would be without Mak around. I know i can't give her the most expensive things to show how grateful i am. But i hope Mak knows that she will always be in my prayer. Amin.

Random

2009-05-08T19:22:00.002+08:00

Since i'm famous for being random, i bought this online as i find it cute.

I'm sorry but I hate those who think they know everything when they don't.
And i simply hate those who judge people easily.
Seriously, who are you?

"Allah knows those who believe, and verily, Allah knows the hypocrites."

The Distance Apart

2009-05-03T23:25:00.004+08:00

MasyaAllah. why do i feel sad?

And oh get well soon Luqman. =(

The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore

2009-05-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

I have not gotten a chance to ride on Singapore Flyer and i finally did. I know. Super slow. It was so random actually. Manage to snapped few pictures of SF on the road along the Raffles Boulevard. But seriously, i think it would be better to ride once Marina Bay Sands constructions are fully done. Better view.

Will be bringing Luqman to Science Centre next week i think. How Rekha? On? Thats if its not raining and i'm not lazy. And! InsyaAllah will be meeting Hana tomorrow. Lots of catching up to do girl.

Oh please remind me not to spend anything. Anymore.

If this is love, real love.

2009-04-26T19:30:00.002+08:00

Had late lunch with the family at ChaiChee Restaurant and i'm full. Alhamdulilah.
I was thinking maybe i should buy paint tomorrow and start painting my room or maybe the living room. I'm famous for being random. I know.

A little crazy up my senses

2009-04-25T22:03:00.005+08:00

I think i'm getting lazy to pen down my thoughts. I was having my politics exam this morning and while i was writing i get reminded of unnecessary junk which i think i spend 10 minutes of not focusing on the question i wrote. What was it? Egypt? I was so frustrated because i don't think i make sense on the essay so i decided to give the exam booklet to the invigilator and get over it.

Dayah is already at Oklahoma and knowing that shes already there make me nervous. (oh i hope you're alright there dayah.) I'll be there in about 6 months time. InsyaAllah. And that is also close to finding a job and taking the responsibility from my parents. There are so many things that are already been pre-plan and i'm so worried. I don't think it's too early to think because without knowing, the day will be just right infront of us.

Next module will be starting on 18 May. Love rules & Home truths should be enough to occupy me during the free time. =)

Still, Date me please.

Closing Time

2009-04-17T00:04:00.001+08:00

Urgh. Ulcer everywhere!!

Where is the Bonjela when i need it?!

Mum's Bday Celebration

2009-04-16T11:49:00.003+08:00

There nothing else can be compared with you Omuni.

Semoga Allah memberi kesihatan, keimanan dan kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat.

Amin.

On the other hand, notes for the exam is ready for revision and i ought to finish up my Malaysia politics assignment soon. Let say by this saturday? InsyaAllah. So i will have ample time to read through the notes for next saturday exam.

Next module timetable is out on Blackboard and we are back to unicampus.

It's Values and Cultures module. I hope it's far more interesting than the current one. Politics. Euww.

I want mee soto at 'Jailani's' foodstall can?

Golden Age

2009-04-14T01:42:00.003+08:00

Happy 55th birthday Omuni!

Short getaway to Malacca & Seremban

2009-04-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

And i'm always by your side

2009-04-08T17:10:00.002+08:00

I think i should learn how to control my emotions from dissapointment and anger. Everyone hates being dissapointed. So i should take time to realise that through dissapointment, i will become wiser and stronger. InsyaAllah.

The Cat Family

2009-04-05T11:27:00.001+08:00

Went for tutorial on Thrusday and only 3 of us came. Rekha, Joey and i. Urgh. I suddenly felt like i'm the hardworking ones. We get bored typing the references. I decided to take pictures with webcam in the library and it's fun!
Met Dayah for lunch and we watched Confessions of a Shopaholic. I think we really can relate well with the movie. Shopping. Who don't like it anyway?

Luqman is sick and he kept vomitting. I think i'm immune to cleaning up his mess. He likes calling himself 'baby cat' and he started calling people cats too. For example. Tok Ayah Cat, Cucu Cat, Mak Tok Cat, Mimi Cat and Baba Cat. So that makes us the cat family. :) Luqman and his imaginations.

This morning when he woke up he said "Baby cat sick. Go tell Baba for Luqman".

Adorable.

I've yet to do notes for exam and my post assignment of Malaysia political development is still pending. What else. I'm famous for procrastinating.

Mr Bubbles Jungle

2009-03-31T23:20:00.005+08:00

I like this picture best.
He kept saying, "No dun go awayyy bubble"
I love looking at him blowing it. He will bent 90degrees and more hoping that the bubbles will be big. Huhu. He even tried different positions. Good attempt Luqy. =)

See! Told ya.
But no matter what, Busu loves you alot.

My life is on Standby

2009-03-31T00:10:00.003+08:00

I think there's nothing left for me to hide

So i'm open to new changes.

Littlest Things- Lilly Allen

2009-03-29T14:06:00.002+08:00

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right, but it seems unfair
That the things remind me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Not something i would remember

2009-03-26T11:38:00.004+08:00

I think 9 days of intensive politics and the 5 quizes in alternate days was not that bad afterall. I don't know why i put up a blurry pictures of us from a dissapointing yet gorgeous 3.2 megapixel phone instead of those what we called "perfect" picture. I think it's like a tradition for us to take pictures for each module. Right girls?

Oh Nini, if you read this, dun worry..your mum will be alright. =)

Oh well, this is Dr Larry. He is old, use hearing aid, weird sense of humour and he definitely loves ice lemon and green tea. It's like his daily dose. I wonder what is his secret recipe for long lives. huhu. ok wth. This is sooooo not important and random in this entry.

I can't wait for a good body massage and a holiday. AND! When will the PR and Advertising results coming out? I've been going in to okcu website like few times a day but it's still not there. It better be out by tmr. Or else!

Miror of my life

2009-03-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

I can still hear the sound of his typewriter...

This evening i decided to look through all my grandfather's sajak that he left us with. He has his own collection of sajak that taugh us about life and many more to mention. Everytime we look at all his sajak, we definitely miss his kind words of encouragement and advice in everything we do.

My sister and i have always love malay language. Name it. Sajak..puisi..pantun.. Everything we do during primary and secondary school chronology was an inspiration from my grandfather. I remembered that every year before he passed away, he was always invited by Asas 50an. But he never want to show up after the incident 'Natrah' because he felt building Asas 50an together with Cikgu Muhd Ariff and the rest was in the past. His younger days to be precise.

This entry isn't about his achievement but this entry is about my grandfather who was not here anymore but the sajak he left us with is more valuable than wealth. Let me quote you the last sajak he wrote before he passed away. The last sajak that i helped him to type using computer. The last sajak that taught us about life. His last sajak that appeared on 31 August 2003 in Berita Harian. :(

Dengan menyinar tahun baru dua ribu tiga

Bererti bertambahlah usiaku mengikut

Perkiraan bilangan angka sahaja

Tapi pada hakikatnya tidak begitu!

Tujuh puluh tujuh adalah lebih

Menghampiri ke penghujung perjalanan

hidupku

Tujuh puluh tujuh adalah

Kurniaan ALLAH Yang Maha Terbesar

Penuh dengan rahmat hikmah

Dalam memperjuangkan liku-liku hidup

Yang penuh mencabar hari ini

Tujuh puluh tujuh

Kurniaan ALLAH yang tidak kurang juga hebatnya

Dalam menghadapi suasana yang serba tidak menentu

Penuh dengan tipu daya

Pepat di luar rencong di dalam

Di depan kita,lain katanya

Di belakang kita, lain pula bicaranya

Menanam tebu di tepi bibir

Habis manis sepah dibuang

Berhati-hatilah kepada mereka

Yang terlunjuk lurus kelengking berkait

Berhati-hatilah

Dalam menghadapi suasana yang serba tidak menentu

Berhati-hatilah!

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2009-03-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

Luqman loves photoshoots and he get very excited when i asked him to pose. After every pictures i took, he will force me to show him his pictures before we continue. Yes. He is vain.

New module will be starting later in the noon and i've mixed emotion about going to school. Since its the 4th last module in Singapore, i make it as a motivation for me to get over and done with it. It's already middle of March and Mak will be celebrating her 55th birthday in a month time. I'm still thinking on what i should get for her. Time to save up.

Went for Abg Nazri engagement and i think this is the first time i had proper conversation with my cousin. wth. i know. I guess i'm famous for being the quiet one when it comes to my dad's side. To begin with, i'm not even close to my cousins and i don't even know who they are or what are their names. I was the photographer for my cousin's engagement and i felt like i was force to take pictures which obviously i'm not happy about it. But to think back, who cares about the people when they pay me for my work and i get to add pictures to my portfolio right.

Well i guess what hurt the most when i was the one taking pictures of the whole family from my dad's side when i'm not even in it. Not even my parents. I tend to get very sensitive about this whole issues and whenever i came back or saw them i get very frustrated. I don't know how my dad is able to stand on his own since birth and only Allah knows how my parents felt when they treated us like nobody. On the other hand, i don't blame them because in the first place my dad does not grew up with his siblings and all this started from the grandma(s) and grandpa(s) who were not around anymore. Al-fatihah. That, i can understand. Somehow i hope Allah will open their hearts, plant iman and show them the right possible solutions to all their misunderstandings. Amin.

You go your own way

2009-03-12T01:46:00.002+08:00

Now I can see that we've fallen apart....
From the way that it used to be.

-BSB

Heaven knows what the future holds

2009-03-11T02:22:00.003+08:00

No, i can't, believe me

I can still find the strength in the moments we made

I'm looking back on yesterday

12 Rabiulawal 1430H

2009-03-09T16:33:00.004+08:00

Today is the birth of beloved Prophet Muhammad, blessings of Allah be upon him.

I hope that in this joyous occasion, Allah will grant us Intercession (Shafa’a) of Prophet Muhammad on the Day of Judgment. Amin.

When the days seems so empty

2009-03-06T01:24:00.005+08:00

Went for checkup on Wednesday alone and it was an impromptu meet up with Wanny eventhough i was already having bad flu. Helmi decided to join us for late lunch at Novena and we settle for an evening breeze at McRitchie Reservoir and went back before magrib. It feels awkward going out with two maniacal guys who kept singing on the road eventhough it was horrendous.

So that was my wednesday and ~~today~~ yesterday, i was down with fever. Argh. hate it. I sticked on my bed like glue and i can't recall how many tissue papers i've wasted. I was thinking that if i hit 39 and above tomorrow morning, i shall go consult the doctor.

Well sometimes, i just wants to be there. When they pushed you aside and showed you weird attitude, its kind of hurt. I'm not sure if they don't trust or they just simply think that it's fine without telling. But the thing is, i totally don't get it at all. I tend to forget about it after all but were everyone around me like that or it just happen to be. Sickening i know. I guess im going along well with it. I may not say it, however deep down i'm boiling up but i still care. I might be the weird one here. shucks.

It's 1:53am and 9 more days to new module/school. Oh man. I hate politics and i screwed it badly the last time i took PEAF. So good luck to me for the next module. I just can't wait for holiday trips and i need more getaways. Now how do i finish reading up breaking dawn in 9 days?

Oh i deleted my friendster last week, i think. No im not regretting because i've been waiting to delete my account since ages. RIP friendster! hee!

Oh,everybody's changing and i don't feel the same

2009-02-25T02:10:00.005+08:00

I made pizzas two days ago since im bored at home. I've whole list of movies marathon to watch.

School is starting next month and I can't wait to drown myself from the journey to school since we will be having lectures again at dhoby ghaut instead of unicampus. I miss lemonade with black pepper chicken pau and cheese tofu!

I reckon that giving up is not in my dictionary. However, i just recalled that i have been giving up years ago without knowing and i just don't know what i'm holding on to. sigh. Sometimes i wish imagination can be reality and i wish life could just be as simple as it is.

Oh Allah, please keep iman and faith in my heart. Amin.

It's not about the stupid things we say

2009-02-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

It's pouring heavily outside and somehow it reflects my heart now.

Mariah Carey song is playing in mind.

So tell me.

I wonder if you think of me
Somewhere in the shadows of your mind
Although our love could never be
I find i think about you all the time.

Cause i'm feeling sorry that i can't

2009-02-21T00:13:00.002+08:00

East Coast Park on wednesday

Picnic with lots of finger food

Cycling with no stamina

Excitement for Oklahoma trip

Pictography madness

the Sun, Sand & the Sea

Thermogenic and Perspiring

In high spirits with great companions.

Loves.

"There nothing else matter because you make me like a
fool."